I love JP Sears! He's a comedian and lately, he's been creating some fantastic content about a variety of different relevant topics. While binge-watching his YouTube channel recently, I found a Tedx Talk he did about four years ago. His talk resonates with me and my own journey of self-acceptance and I think you all may find it insightful as well.
JP starts by explaining "normal" versus weird, as defined by society. Normal is basically blending in and not standing out as our true, unique, and weird selves. By doing this, we "reject ourselves because that ensures us no one else is going to reject us." How do we counteract this? He says, "the cure for normal is your weirdness" because it's what makes us who we are. JP is basically saying weird is the new "cool." I don't know about you all, but I'm totally on board with that!
We prevent the expression of our true selves because we are all approval-addicts.
-JP Sears, Saying YES! to your Weirdness, TEDxCardiffbytheSea, 2017
As approval addicts, JP emphasizes that when we feel that others approve us, we have a better sense of connection. But to get this approval, we unfortunately try to please others by being like them and what they expect us to be, denying ourselves the opportunity to be who we are meant to be.
And here where he gets real: "As long as I'm worshiping other people's approval, I can never accept myself. As long as I can never accept myself, I never give anybody else a chance to accept me." Think of all the repercussions of not accepting who we are. We would literally be pushing people away because we are afraid of being rejected, and in turn, we would not be giving those people a chance to embrace the awesome weirdos we truly are.
I found the greatest love of all Inside of me. The greatest love of all Is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself It is the greatest love of all.
-Lyrics from Greatest Love of All, performed by Whitney Houston, written by Linda Creed and Michael Masser, 1985
I couldn't resist bringing in some Whitney Houston song lyrics because that song is one of my favorites, and it does connect well with what JP is trying to say about self-acceptance. I want to give a special shoutout to all my single people (I'm with you) who may be feeling a bit lonely. Don't stop loving yourself because it is the "greatest love of all." Like JP said, if we can't love and accept ourselves, then we are preventing others from loving and accepting us. And if we take that step forward to show ourselves some love, who knows who we may attract along the way!
JP believes that our life purpose is "giving yourself permission to be the miracle you are," And that miracle is our weirdness, which includes our "traits, the tendencies, the behaviors, and the perspectives" that make us unique. He points out that what inspires us about others is their weirdness, and how they are "willing to risk being their unapologetically weird selves."
That risk he is referring to is the discomfort that comes from truly being who we are meant to be. It can make us uncomfortable because it's the opposite of being "safe" and hiding our weirdness from others. My understanding is that being uncomfortable in this way will actually make us bolder and braver and able to move forward in a positive way.
I used to try to hide who I was, and now, I have been embracing my weirdness more and more lately, and to be honest, it feels freaking awesome! With my love of singing/breaking into song, I have given myself the amazing permission to fully express who I am. Over the past few months, I have been recording my singing and uploading it to SoundCloud for all to hear. And a few weeks ago, I even entered a virtual singing competition where I submitted not one, but three songs. Also, by writing to all of you in my blog posts, I'm showing off my weird quirkiness!
So the choice is yours: be normal like people expect, or let others see how great you really are.
Be weird and be you, my friends.
Shine on!
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