Over the past several months, I've found myself recalling a few of Mister Rogers' songs from my childhood, and singing those to my dog, Reesee, including It's You I Like. I cannot capture in words how incredibly special it has been to sing this song to my dog, my furry soulmate, knowing that the time we have left together is getting shorter each day. There have been many moments when I'm not able to get through the song because I start sobbing.
Despite my emotions, this song still brings an overwhelming sense of calm to my soul. It's self-soothing, flooding me with peace that I'll be ok when my best friend is no longer with me. And I had the insight recently that I'm also meant to sing this song to myself. I can be my own best friend.
Many of us are familiar with Fred Rogers and his public television show that ran for over 30 years, Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. As host and cherished neighbor, his show was an absolute game-changer, not only for public television, but also for the mental health and well-being of children. He spoke to children in a gentle manner and treated them like intelligent human beings. The wisdom he shared helped empower them to express their feelings and learn how to cope with a variety of life circumstances. He was able to empathize with children and their feelings and he wanted to make sure they understood their self-worth, how special they truly were. His show always ended with this amazing phrase:
“You've made this day a special day, by just your being you. There's no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.”
-Fred Rogers
As children, we were so much more receptive to messages of love, encouragement, and self-acceptance, and as adults, we have lost ourselves a bit as life has become more complicated. We have likely spent more time judging ourselves for the decisions we've made in life, instead of making time to love ourselves. I believe Mister Rogers' wisdom is not just for kids and as adults, we need it now more than ever.
How often do we all tell ourselves that we're special, just the way we are? I wonder how much more confident and filled with joy we would be if we made that our top priority. What if we treated ourselves like we were our own best friend? How would that make us feel "way down deep inside"?
I encourage you to read these lyrics for It's You I Like and imagine that the words are meant for you to say to yourself, instead of expressing to someone else:
It's you I like, It's not the things you wear, It's not the way you do your hair But it's you I like The way you are right now, The way down deep inside you Not the things that hide you, Not your toys They're just beside you. But it's you I like Every part of you. Your skin, your eyes, your feelings Whether old or new. I hope that you'll remember Even when you're feeling blue That it's you I like, It's you yourself It's you. It's you I like.
Written by Fred M. Rogers, 1971
Who we are, what makes us so special, is all about the here and now ("the way you are right now"). It's not about our past that no longer exists or our unknown future. It's not about the clothes we wear or our possessions. It's what exists in our heart and soul, deep inside, which at its root, is love.
We are not our thoughts, and we are not our mistakes. We are love and each of us is meant to shine our joy. We should never hide that from anyone!
It's so important, and I'm speaking to myself as well, that we acknowledge and show gratitude for "every part" of who we are, even the parts we want to criticize. When we do this with unconditional love, we connect to our true being, and with that comes an incredible freedom to be exactly who we are meant to be. We start to minimize the self-judgment and we no longer worry about being judged by others. There's also an understanding that if others choose not to accept us for who we are, that's on them, not us. What a release, right?
Often, I get caught up in this, and I'm sure many of you do as well: worrying about who is on our side and who is not. We forget that we are always on our side. And we can always be our own best friend, despite what's going on in our lives and anyone that we may lose along the way. If we build that solid foundation of self-love, we won't be easily shaken when others leave.
When was the last time we looked at ourselves in the mirror and said, "It's you I like"? This type of encouragement is actually referred to as, "mirror work," and many authors and influencers over the years, including Louise Hay, believe that incorporating this practice daily will change our lives for the better. Speaking kind and loving words to ourselves connects us back to our inner child, who just wants to be seen and heard. What's so life-changing about this is we are not depending on anyone else to be seen and heard. We are taking the lead on our own to ensure that we feel loved!
When I was creating my music video for this song, I knew that I needed to have courage and do this mirror work. I'll admit it's something that I've tried a few times, but it always feels a little awkward. I still completely understand its value, and to be honest, after filming the video, I felt more loved and held than I've truly allowed myself to feel before. So, by singing the song (with Mister Rogers' help) to myself, I hope that it will inspire you all to give mirror work a try too!
I'd like to continue to share more of my insights about Mister Rogers' and his legacy of love and acceptance. If we can learn to tap back into our inner child and embrace ourselves more, just the way we are, we can continue to love each other and make the world a better and more joyful place.
Shine on, neighbors!