I Need to be in Love, written by Richard Carpenter, Albert Hammond, and John Bettis, was released in 1976. It became one of The Carpenters' singles that made it to #1 on the Adult Contemporary charts!
Known as one of Karen Carpenter's favorite songs of all time to perform, it is beautiful, raw, and vulnerable, capturing the sadness of not having found love yet and wanting it to happen so badly. For me, whenever I listen to Karen's vocals in this song, she connects with the lyrics in a deeply emotional way as if she's lived every word. She must have known how difficult it was to find love and I'm sure, like the rest of us, she often felt she was somehow at fault.
We shouldn't have to deal with the immense pressure from this world to find love and be in love, yet, many of us want it so desperately. While we would never want to give off that energy of desperation, it’s easy to let our emotions about the lack of romantic love to take over. Are we really asking for "perfection" as the lyrics state or are we being picky for good reasons? Is it really our fault or is it just not meant to be right now? Perhaps a Higher Power is orchestrating love for us and we just have to be ready for it when it comes together at the right time.
I’ve always felt especially connected to this song because it has unwillingly become the path I’ve experienced for most of my life: trying to be as confident and hopeful as I can, giving dating a chance or trying other new ways to meet people, experiencing short-term relationships, and feeling that I've come up empty in the romance department. Somehow, the "price I've paid is high enough for me" because "I've wasted too much time" "with pockets full of good intentions," trying to figure it all out without securing a more permanent relationship, and being served with loneliness instead.
Sometimes, a pang of worry comes over me that I’ve missed my chance in love, but I try not to stay there too long because I’ve also heard plenty of stories of people finding love later in life. So there’s always still hope, friends, even if we don't recognize it right away. And we owe it to ourselves to keep the faith so that we can still experience joy. Radiating joy when you're lonely and without love could potentially be an amazing way to attract love! Law of Attraction, anyone?
So here's some advice to all my fellow single people out there: don’t worry about hunting down a relationship. For once, be exactly who you are at this very moment, show yourself some love, and cut yourself some slack.
Removing that pressure of finding love because we need it may be the greatest gift we can give ourselves. It could also be the very thing that brings us love. Call me rebellious, but honestly, I’m tired of trying. I just want to be who I am without all this unnecessary pressure that only makes me feel worse. I decided in January of this year that I was done, for good, with online dating. Been there, done that for too many years. Anyone else feel the same way?
Now is the time to find love within while still keeping those non-negotiables top of mind. We all know what we want in a romantic relationship, and we will genuinely find it. We just have to believe we are ok and still hang on to hope. And know that we are not fools for thinking that way.
Shine on!