Somewhere in My Memory: unwrapping the significance of this deeply meaningful song from Home Alone

Last month, I was feeling a bit nostalgic and emotional heading into the holiday season. The theme song,"Somewhere in My Memory," from the 1990 film, Home Alone, popped into my head, and I knew at that moment that I needed to record it. Christmas is my favorite holiday and always a special time of the year, just as it is for many of us. It's a time to reflect, gather with family and friends, and celebrate life and love. Christmas brings so much nostalgia, with all of the music and movies we remember from childhood that continue to be a part of our holiday traditions. You all probably know by now that when it comes to Christmas music, the Carpenters are my go-to! When it comes to Christmas movies, Home Alone is at the top of my list! It's funny, entertaining, and heartwarming. The soundtrack is fantastic too and includes several well-known holiday tunes, such as Brenda Lee's version of, "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," in this classic scene! Though, it's "Somewhere in My Memory," with its gentle and sweeping melody, that remains the most memorable for me.

These days, whenever I hear the song while watching the film, or when it plays it in my head, I go right back to the magical Christmases of my childhood. The excitement of Christmas morning, the delicious food shared during family gatherings, the cookie decorating and gingerbread houses, and singing my favorite Christmas tunes are my fondest "precious moments." As adults, we can all acknowledge that Christmas hits a bit differently. Often, melancholy shows up around the holidays because we have more people to miss and the gatherings become smaller.

Over the past few years, I've dealt with heartache, loss, and grief, and so the song completely breaks me. The realization that I can’t get the holidays from the past back, that they’re just "somewhere in my memory,"can feel devastating sometimes. Yes, those memories will always be special and joyful, and I still believe our loved ones will always be with us in Spirit. But these days, when we are all in need of more personal connection (and let's be honest, much less of social media), the physical presence of our loved ones, including our fur babies, will always be deeply missed. There’s a missing seat at the table, a melodic laugh that is no longer heard, a warm embrace that is no longer felt, and a loyal companion no longer by our side. This song has become time travel for my feelings. So, with every lyric, and as the song builds with emotion, I’m there, back to my childhood Christmases, with the purest joy and innocence. No worries, no grief, and nothing pressing on my mind.

The challenge of recording this song for the first time was that I wasn't sure if I could emotionally get my way through it. Early last month, in one afternoon for about an hour, I recorded my vocals, but I did struggle through the first part of the song. My voice was getting caught up in my emotions as I sang the beautiful yet simple lyrics. I almost gave up altogether, but I knew that this song was meant to happen, not just for my own healing, but for others I know who have also experienced loss and grief. So, I called out to my loved ones in Spirit and asked them to give me strength...to get me through the song. And they did. To keep recording, even while overcome with emotion, helped me more authentically connect with the song.

What you will hear in the first half of the song is not vocally perfect by any means, but when I listened to my final recording, I was floored. I heard my heart on my sleeve, and somehow, I heard childlike innocence come through. And the way my vocals went from choked up in the beginning to more grounded in the second half seemed to represent the strength to emotionally get through the holidays. We may start with lots of tears over loved ones we are missing, but then we make our way back to the present joys and to celebrating the holidays with those who are still with us, while cherishing the memories we will always have. I wanted to represent those feelings in my video as well. The first half travels back to those childhood memories and the second half focuses on navigating through the melancholy and rediscovering those "Christmas joys."

While most of Home Alone is filled with Kevin protecting his home from burglars Marv and Harry, there are gems throughout the film that reminds us of the importance of family, friends, and neighbors. Kevin realized how lonely he was without his family and he also made a genuine connection with his neighbor, who was feeling lonely too. You can watch that scene here that shows the power of human connection and coming together over shared experiences. The final scene of the film is incredibly uplifting and beautiful. After Kevin's family returns home, we see him looking out his window and witnessing his neighbor's family reunion. Kevin and his neighbor exchange glances and his neighbor waves to him. Kevin is left beaming with joy for his neighbor. The ending of this film couldn't be more perfect!

To those who are missing loved ones and past Christmases, I encourage you to go within and rediscover that “gingerbread feeling,” of innocence, joy, and love. Reminisce about those precious moments, forever cherish your memories, and make room for new ones with your family and friends. And remember to show yourself some extra love too.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, friends!