My music inspiration has continued this past week, and it was yet another wonderful Michael Jackson song that prompted this blog post. Nostalgically referred to as the "Free Willy song" (remember that movie?), Will You Be There is a thoughtful, spiritual, and undoubtedly vulnerable song that digs deep to question who will really be there for us as we go through life as resilient, yet flawed human beings.
Carry me Like you are my brother Love me like a mother Will you be there?
-Lyrics from Will You Be There, written and performed by Michael Jackson, 1993
The song asks many valuable questions, such as when weary, will you hold me, and when lost, will you find me? I've realized its message has meant a lot to me personally over the past few years, as I've had to make some difficult decisions to break away from toxic vibes and people who were no longer serving a purpose in my life. I had to choose, for my own sanity and peace of mind, to move on. I needed to select my inner circle wisely, and only surround myself with those who were going to accept me for who I am and what I believe.
Nilofer Merchant authored an amazing blog about choosing your inner circle, thoroughly defining the type of people we would want and those we should avoid. I encourage you all to read the full descriptions as I'm only providing a summary below:
Who you want
Learning enabler: someone who wants to see you grow in life.
Cheerleader or Rooter: someone who celebrates the progress you've made.
Coach, Advisor or Teacher: someone who challenges and advises you.
Spotter: someone who at times knows you better than you know yourself.
Confidant: someone who supports you as you are and recognizes who you are becoming.
Who you don't want
Their way or not at all: I don't think this one needs any further explanation!
Self-centered: someone who is an energy-sucker and friendship with you doesn't fill their void.
Always right: and never wrong!
Defensive teammate: they make you the problem instead of being a team player.
Unprotected: they don't keep your secrets safe with them.
When we find and embrace our inner circle, we have the superpower to unleash even more joy, and fill that joy cup to the brim! We are free to express what we are going through and seek the support we need, so we become resilient and are able to choose joy in the midst of tough times. Then, we come out of those experiences with so much more to give to others.
So, I ask, who will be there for you when you need them the most? Will they be patient and loving? Will they respect you and accept you as you are? Will they lift you up when you're down? Will they hold you tight when you're going through tough times? Will they cheer you on while you grow? And will be there for you until the very end?
Keep on shining, my friends!
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